Feeling love
by Maven Masters
Summary: A masochistic girl cuts to remember how to feel, hiding it from every one, but when Takuma discovers her secret can he help her remember how to feel without resorting to cutting? I suck at summaries but don't judge the story on it! TakumaXoc
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 Rin's Pov

I stared at my ceiling, completely spaced out, just as I had been since school ended an hour and a half ago.

My gaze wandered over to my school uniform, a white shirt, black white lined blazer and a black, white lined skirt. The uniform of Cross Academy. Why the headmaster had designed the skirts so short I will never know.

Letting my gaze wander further along the wall to my mirror, I spared only a glance at my reflection. Brown shoulder length hair, hazel eyes, and clear slightly tanned skin. Nothing interesting in the slightest about me.

As my gaze continued on its track around the room, excited giggles could be heard coming from the courtyard. _Hmmm. Must be time already, damn._

Cross Academy had two distinct classes, the ones that took place during the day, which I and all the giggling girls belonged to, and the ones that took place during the night. The two classes were kept separate most of the time, except at crossover. Crossover was the time when the night class came out of their dorms for classes. Whenever the girls got the chance to see them they always- "KYAAAAH!" the excited screaming blasted into my room- freaked out. The night class was beautiful, and the girls, being as shallow as they are, all had big crushes on them.

I walked over to my window looked out, seeing the white blob of night class uniforms being swamped by a sea of black. I sighed and shut the window. I really didn't care about the night class, but I didn't like the noise.

Takuma's POV

The girls' reaction to us was adorable. Every day as our class would emerge from the moon dorms, the day class girls' would go crazy.

"Good evening ladies." I called to them, smiling good naturedly. I saw a couple of the girls' eyes sparkle as they stared into my green ones. This made me smile more. Greeting them every evening was not my attempt to flirt with them, but simply my attempt to be a gentleman. Unlike the blond haired blue eyed Hanabusa Aido, who openly flirted with them every day. Speaking of the playboy, the blond surprisingly wasn't paying attention to his fangirls. Instead he was busy harassing Yuki Cross, a member of the disciplinary committee. The boy was hugging her from behind; his fangirls did not like that.

"Aido-" I began, trying to call him back into line, but dorm president Kaname Kuran suddenly appeared behind Aido.

"Aido, stop harassing the disciplinary committee member and get to class." He said in his usual monotone voice.

Only the night class students recognized the silent _or else _that was added onto the end of the statement. Everyone in the night class knew that Kaname was in love with Yuki, and nobody messed with their leader's love.

Aido immediately let the go and with one last cheery "bye ladies" he waved and set out at a quickened pace towards the school, causing the girls to erupt in sounds of disappointment.

Glancing at the sun dorm building I saw a girl quickly stick her head out of her window and just as quickly pull her head back in and close the window.

_Well it looks like there is at least one person in this school who isn't a fangirl,_ I chuckled to myself.

_I wonder who she is? _

"Hey Ichijo, stop standing around and get to class!" a voice commanded from behind me

Turning around I came face to face with Zero Kiryu, the other disciplinary committee member. His expression was all business and his glare clearly said, "not in the mood to deal with you."

"Sorry Kiryu, I hadn't even realized I had stopped walking." I said with a nervous laugh, trying not to piss him off. "I'll be going now. After all the vice president can't set a bad example, now can he?" Flashing a smile I turned and continued my walk to the school, ignoring the daggers that he was staring into my back_. Kiryu seemed more irritable than usual today, but who can blame him, having to deal with a class of vampires every night._

Rin's POV

After a few minutes the noise in the courtyard subsided. But I wasn't really focused on that any more, I was more focused on my arm, and the little lines of red that was appearing on it. _I don't feel enough_. I brought the little razorblade that I was holding to my arm again, right above where I had just cut. I pressed the cold metal against my skin and quickly drew it across. Feeling the little shock of pain, i sucked in a tiny breath, but I felt better. The pain acted as little shock, reminding me how to feel emotion again. My mouth twitched upward, the closest I had gotten to a smile all day.

I continued to stare at my arm, enjoying the pain, as the red lines from the random looking cuts beaded up and rolled down to connect to the others and roll down my wrist. I frowned. I had cut a bit deeper than I thought. I would have to be careful over the next few days.

Looking over at the clock, my heart skipped a beat. My roommate would be back here any minute! I hurriedly cleaned and bandaged my arm and threw my razor in my little bag with my band aids and threw it under my mattress literally a second before my roommate walked in.

"I don't understand how you cannot like the night class Rin!" Nori exclaimed, flopping down onto the bed. The redheaded girl was one of the biggest night class fangirls in the school. She sometimes went as to break curfew and stalk them during the night.

"It's not that I don't like them, I'm just not so into them that I feel the need to go and fawn over them every night as they come out for classes." I coolly retorted, picking a book from my stack besides the table. "Oh and don't forget that we're going to work on our project tomorrow. Kay?"

Nori just stuck her tongue out at me.

A few minutes later she got up to take her shower, leaving me alone in the room.

I let my book fall onto my chest. _That was _way_ to freaking close!_ If she had seen my arm, she would have freaked and told the counselor. Then they start watching me and make me talk to her. Fat lot of good that will do. I hate talking to counselors. They would try to link my cutting to something idiotic or say something like I was depressed. They have pre conceived notions about cutting, and would never really understand me.

I really didn't see the harm in doing it though. It wasn't like I was trying to kill myself or anything. I liked living. And I wasn't cutting because I wanted to get back at someone or I thought I deserved it. I cut because it lets me feel clearly and I like the pain. So really, what's wrong with it?

"Blaaaaaah" I muttered to myself, shaking that train of thought. Turning to my uninjured side, I closed my eyes and quickly fell asleep.

**A/N: The next chapter will be more eventful. I promise! Review me if youi get the chance. tell me how i can improve my writing!**


	2. Chapter 2

Rin's POV

The following day passed by in a blur of noise, class, and notes. Before I knew it I was back in my dorm waiting for Nori to finish fawning over the night class. However, the courtyard had emptied ten minutes ago.

"Dammit Nori!" I whispered under my breath. She had forgotten again. She was probably out stalking the night class again. In fact, I was sure she was.

I sighed in exasperation and started changing out of my pajamas. Our project was due in two days and we weren't even halfway done with it. I was going to have to go get her if we were even going to have a chance of finishing on time.

After changing into a light blue long sleeved shirt and cut-off jeans, I quietly slipped out the door.

Staying in the shadows (I did _not_ want to be busted by the disciplinary committee) I headed towards Nori's favorite watching spot: a huge tree near classroom 3A. The leaf cover was so good, that I had to walk right underneath it to confirm that she wasn't there.

Actually she wasn't anywhere. I walked around the whole freaking school, but I couldn't find I continued searching, I ended up deep in the dense forest that surrounded the school. I was just about to give up when the tree line suddenly broke to reveal a clearing. The sight stopped me dead in my tracks.

What I thought was just a clearing, actually contained a pond. The rays of the moon sparkled on its gently waving surface like hundreds of tiny flashing lights. The light cast dancing shadows against the white Irises surrounding the pond. The natural beauty of the place was absolutely amazing and I was glad that I saw this for the first time it on a night when I actually cared.

I sighed, picking one of the irises, the warm, slightly sweet scent was wonderful. I took one last look at the clearing before turning and heading back into the forest. Apparently I had a project I had to do by myself.

From the pond, it was easy to find my way back to the path to the dorms. I was almost home free when I heard footsteps ahead of me.

"Shit! I forgot about Yuki-san and Zero-sempai!" I quickly glanced around me, _somewhere to hide. . . oh that will work._ I jumped and grabbed a low branch of a tree just above me, the same tree that Nori was always talking about. Well, I guess I was just about to test how good of cover it really offered. I quickly hauled myself out of sight as the footsteps continued their steady pace uninterrupted as they walked past the tree.

After the steps had completely faded, I slowly lowered myself off the branch, hissing as a ripping sensation shot through my arm. A few seconds later I felt my sleeve begin to wet. _Crap, must have torn the cuts. I'll have to deal with it later. _I ran the rest of the way back to my room.

"Where have you been Rin-chan?" My black haired roommate asked as soon as I opened the door.

She saw my shocked face. "I know I was late, but I had to take a quick peek, you know?"

"I was out looking for you, but it doesn't matter. Let's just get this project done." I said hurriedly, sidestepping around her, keeping my arm pressed to my side.

"Where are you going?"

"Bathroom." I needed to take care of these cuts. I liked the pain, I just couldn't be bleeding around Nori.

After discarding my bloody shirt in the bathroom, i flipped on the overhead light. The flesh around my cuts looked pink and irritated, making the faint white scars of long healed cuts stand out slightly, but thankfully the actual tears were small. They just bled a lot. After carefully placing bandaids over the torn spots, I smiled to myself. I healed fast, so unless you were really looking for them, most of my scars were near invisible, the rest on their way to being so. Even the near invisible scars were only from the last six months, the rest faded away completely. _Ironic that even the scars fade away_

I sighed, pulling away from that train of thought. Pulling on a long sleeved shirt, went to help Nori.

We worked late into the night, her talking nonstop about pointless gossip while I was able to remain mostly silent. Her gossiping didn't leave much room for my input anyway. That was fine by me. I didn't care.

(the next evening)

"Kyaaaah!" the fangirls screamed as the moon dorm's doors swung open, revealing the night class. They were twice as loud as they sounded from my window. I had come down to crossover with Nori that evening to make sure that she actually came back on time that night. We still had to finish our project. The big castle-like doors of the moon dorm slowly swung open, and out… sauntered?... the night class. There really wasn't any other word for the way they walked, so gracefully.

"KYAAA!" The girls screamed louder, and I winced slightly, surprised at the sheer decibels that the girls were producing. I swear I saw one of the night class boys, the one with blond hair and green eyes, wince slightly too, but somehow the grin he wore never faltered.

I shifted my position so I was leaning against a tree nearby the mob, there was no way I was going to fight my way through that. Besides, I could still keep an eye on Nori from here.

Unfortunately , I was so busy keeping an eye on Nori, that I didn't notice Aido-sempai shooting me a wink that would make any of his fangirls swoon. But me, with so much of my concentration on keeping track of Nori in the sea of bobbing heads, didn't notice him until he slammed his hand into my tree, above my head. When I turned to face him, the boy gave me a stunningly white smile that, once again, would have made any of his fangirls faint.

"Hello, are you new? I don't believe I've seen you around before ." The blonde's ice blue eyes sparkled at me. My hazel ones met his with a blank, emotionless stare. Unlucky for him, today wasn't a very good day, and I wasn't feeling much today and I certainly didn't have any to spare on such an obvious playboy.

After seconds of his ineffective smiling, I could see Aido-sempai do some mental backpedaling. Immediately he swept into a galliant bow saying "my apologies, I should have introduced myself first. I am Hanabusa Aido and-" he took my hand- "it is a pleasure to meet a beautiful girl like you." He kissed it, acting the true, old fashioned gentleman.

"May I ask your name?"

"Rin Yamaka." I answered emotionlessly, pulling my hand out of his grip. I turned away to try to find Nori again in the crazy crowd when I felt strong arms enclose around me from behind.

"Aww, Rin-chan! Don't ignore me!" The blonde's voice whined in my ear. What was wrong with this guy? Does he have some sort of multiple personality disorder?

"Please release me Aido-sempai. I don't appreciate random guys touching me." I tried removing his arms, but to no avail.

"Aww-" Aido was cut off by that other green eyed blonde, placing his hand on Aido's shoulder.

"Ne, Aido-kun, let her go. It appears that your attentions aren't appreciated. Remember the rules." The boy's voice was somehow light, yet held a certain tone of authority to, and it was easy for me to see that the smile was forced. Aido loosened his grip just enough for me to quickly slip out.

Apparently Aido had been leaning on me too much, because when I turned around, Aido was face planted in the dirt.

All of the girls gave me death glares. I simply grabbed Nori's wrist and started up the cobblestone path towards the gigantic sun dorms. "hey, not so fast Rin-chan!"

"You've seen them, now we have to finish our project."

(Takuma's POV)

"KYAAAAAH!" The girls screamed as the fortress –like doors of the moon dorms swung open on silent hinges. Everyone winced, damn vampire hearing.

Despite the painful volume, I kept a smile on my face. I liked seeing people happy, and usually acting happy made others happy too.

Before the doors were even fully opened, Aido was already walking down the fan girl lined pathway, eager to be fawned over.

"Good morning ladies!" he called to his adoring fans.

"Good morning Aido-sempai!" the chorused back.

"Are all the girls at this school fangirls?" an annoyed orange haired girl muttered to herself.

"C'mon Rima, don't be a kill joy. The whole reason we're here is to coexist peacefully and to make friends. Why don't you try smiling every once and a while?" I tried, making an example of myself. The vampire model just snorted.

"You know as well as I do that they wouldn't act this way if they knew." She sighed, "Oh looks like the idiot's adding one more to his fanclub." Rima said dryly, pointing to said idiot sauntering over to a tree where an unfamiliar brown haired girl was leaning.

Shiki suddenly appeared beside Rima.

"Any bets?" he asked unsmilingly, seeing where we were looking.

"Box of pocky ways under 25 seconds." Rima offered.

"No, she looks a little harder to crack than that, I say 45 seconds. Shiki disagreed.

I stared at her. She was the one who was watching from the window yesterday. Funny, she didn't seem like the fangirl type.

"I'll take that bet." I burst out unexpectedly.

"What?" Rima asked incredulously. "_ You_ want in?" I couldn't blame her reaction. Participating in Shiki and Rima's petty bets wasn't really like me.

"Yup! I say she doesn't fall for him at all." I said. I hoped she was different. It'd be nice to know that at least one girl didn't belong to his fanclub. My eyes flickered over to where Yuuki was trying to hold back the crowd. 'Well, besides Yuuki.'

"Okay then, your pocky I guess," Shiki muttered, shrugging, eyes already on the show.

The playboy was already leaning against the tree, attempting to charm her with his smile. She had absolutely no reaction, she just stared stoically at him.

"Wow, that's a first," Shiki muttered, glancing down at his watch. "Fifteen seconds left, Rima."

Aido was quickly changing tactics from lady killer, to charming refined gentleman. Rima's mouth twitched up into a smirk. She had seen this tactic before, we all had. It had been while since he had brought out his big guns.

"My apologies, I should have introduced myself first. I am Aido Hanabusa and it is a pleasure to meet such a beautiful girl." He kissed the hand that he had captured earlier, showing the gentleman that he had been brought up to be.

Not even this kiss however, evoked a response from the stoic girl. Not even my vampire sight could detect the faintest blush. The fangirls however, were another story. They were caught between staring daggers at the girl and swooning at Aido's charming act.

"May I ask your name?" he asked, keeping her hand trapped. It was easy to tell, even from behind, that he was trying to make the girl melt with his eyes again. Once again he failed, judging by her stoic, icy response.

"Yamaka, Rin." She said, pulling her had from his grip. 'So that's her name.'

"Time." Shiki called softly, sounding disappointed.

"Looks like I win the bet!" I smiled happily.

"Whatever." They both responded in emotionless unison.

"Well at least Aido learned about rejection. He needed a good dose of reality." Rima said while turning and walking towards the school.

I was about to join them when I heard Rin say: "Aido-sempai, please release me." I turned and saw Aido hugging her from behind. 'Okay, this has gone too far.'

"Aww-" i cut him off, placing my hand on the Blonde's shoulder.

"Ne, Aido-kun," I said trying to keep my voice light, "it doesn't appear that your attentions are appreciated. Remember the rules." Only the other night class students heard the unspoken threat of, 'don't make Kaname-sama have to handle this.

His grip on the girl loosened a bit.

Suddenly, the girl ducked and in one swift, graceful movement, she was out of his embrace.

Aido pitched forward ungracefully and fell flat on his face. His fangirls looked shocked. Rin payed no attention to them and grabbed another girl from the crowd and started dragging her back up the pathway to the dorms. As she brushed past me, my nose caught the faint, sweet smell of dried blood. The same smell that I had smelled the night before. So she was the one that was out last night.

Aido stood up from the ground and indignantly started brushing himself off.

"Hmph. Well that wasn't very nice," Aido muttered mournfully to himself. "Hmmm, she may be fun to tease though, I hope she comes tomorrow!" He said brightly, getting a mischievous look in her eye.

I sighed, Aido was never going to give up on his games. But I silently agreed with him. I hoped that she came tomorrow, she was quite…interesting.

**A/N: I'm so sorry I abandoned you guys for so long. Its just that my first year of high school started and all honors classes + 6 clubs (including 3 volunteer organizations) + Lacrosse team pre season training + friend drama = a very busy falling towards nothing. I know that thousands of authors have used that cliche excuse, but nothing i could do. I will try to update faster, and if you thin i take too long, message me or comment telling me to get my ass in gear. and hey if you have a chance, im posting a takuma oneshot called "Bite me" tonight, so check it out! Adios again my readers! Til next time we meet! FTN**


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